Put Yourself on the Calendar: Part 3 of Rest is Part of the Work

GRWM: I found this new face mask that moisturizes, removes wrinkles, makes me look 10 years younger, answers emails, makes dinner and doctor appointments. 

Just kidding. I see all the get ready with me routines that are touted as self-care and I really hope that they do help the person making the video feel refreshed and ready to take on the world. The problem is, self-care can’t always be compressed into a routine. It needs room to change as your life changes, not just prepare you for the day and wish you luck. 

Bubble baths, expensive coffee, face masks and girl dinners can absolutely be self-care. But they are not the definition of self-care. 

Self-care is making time and space for yourself-physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.

Self-care isn’t always fun

If you’ve ever taken care of someone else, children, aging parents, or even a pet or plant, you know that things can get complicated. But taking care of yourself is just as important. The problem is, we tend to not think about the different ways we need to help ourselves. 

Self-care sometimes looks like: 

• Going to bed early - even if you don’t have to wake up early the next day

• Eating a real meal - with vegetables and everything

• Making a doctor’s appointment-and then going to the appointment

• Setting a boundary

• Asking for help

• Cleaning your space because the mess is stressful

• Not cleaning your space because you are overwhelmed and need a break

• Spending time with someone who makes you feel seen

• Spending time alone

• Volunteering somewhere that supports an idea you are passionate about

Here’s the key: self-care isn’t necessarily doing something you want. It’s doing what you need. Sometimes what you want and need are both a nap and a bowl of ice cream. And that’s ok too.

Self-care means making room for yourself

If your calendar is full of work, appointments, family obligations, errands, and other things that everyone else needs from you, “I’ll take care of myself when I have time” isn’t much of a plan. 

You may need to put yourself on your calendar. 

You add a line to your daily to-do list that simply says: 

 8:00-9:00 – Nothing

Because nothing can be a legitimate use of your time.

Self-Care isn’t Selfish

This section is for the Moms and Dads. For the caregivers and partners. For everyone that has someone or multiple someones relying on you every day. 

Taking time for yourself can feel like you are taking something away from someone else. But there is a difference between neglecting your responsibilities and recognizing that you are also one of the people you are responsible for. 

Let’s say that again. 

You are one of the people in your care that you are responsible for.

What do you need right now?

There isn’t one perfect self-care routine because there isn’t one version of you that shows up everyday. 

What you need on Monday won’t look like what you need on Friday. 

One season of life will be stressful but in a different way from the last. 

So instead of asking, “What self-care trend is going around right now?” try asking: “What do I need right now?” 

Then make some room for the answer. 

Taking care of yourself isn’t an indulgence you have to earn. It’s part of the work.